Thoughts Aloud

Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

The parents of this kid are lucky Child Protective Services isn’t asking them some embarrassing questions regarding why they put him up to this:

It is only 8 seconds, and the story is in The News & Observer:

CHAPEL HILL – After Shawn Turschak saw two sets of McCain-Palin signs disappear from his yard within hours of being planted, he took steps to protect the latest pair.

On Monday, he ran wires from his house and hooked the signs into a power source for an electric pet fence. Then he mounted a surveillance camera in a nearby tree and wired it to a digital recorder.

Tuesday afternoon, the camera saw this: A neighbor trotting up with an Obama-Biden sign, grabbing a handful of volts as he touched a McCain-Palin sign, then fleeing at top 9-year-old boy speed…

The video, Turschak said, makes clear that the boy was planning to switch the signs, which are essentially sheathes that slip over metal framework. The boy had only brought the Democratic sheath, not the legs.

If it had been his mother or father it would be hilarious. ◄Dave►

911 News from the future:

I’ll be glad when this election is over. I am wasting far too much time delving into the mysteries of the Obamessiah’s past, and trying to figure out what he is deliberately hiding from us, and why. Perhaps that is the nature of messiahs – they just spring forth after a rumored storied birth by a deflowered virgin, into a fully grown forty-year-old man, with almost no history of what mischief they might have been up to in-between. You just gotta believe… and have faith… and your life will be changed…

The more I find out, the more I become convinced that his first book was much fantasy in Obamaland, and ghost-written by Wm. Ayers, of all people. Oh well, I suppose it will all come out after his election. He will eventually piss off the MSM, as Biden has predicted, and some intrepid reporters will finally get around to doing their jobs.  The sheeple will be shocked, and everyone will wonder how he got away with it for so long.

I had not seen the square-off between the candidates at the Alfred E. Smith dinner last week until now. I appreciated the relief from the madness. John McCain in particular was hilarious. He actually had Obama laughing out loud, and Hillary in stitches. If you missed it, it is worth the time for the chuckles:

Barack Obama had some good lines; yet his lack of experience showed here too:

I couldn’t find the rest of his remarks, but this caught the comedy part.  It did remind me of an e-mailed picture I received a while back:

What me Worry?

It must be time for a nap…  ◄Dave►

Old friend Troy, who I spent the last year exchanging ideas with on a now defunct forum, has started his own blog.  He is one of the most rational thinkers and lovers of liberty that I know, who willfully writes wily wisdom with wickedly wry wit when whim, wrongs, or wrongheaded Washington wiseguys twist his tail.

It is available here, and I have added a link to it in my blogroll.  I wish him well and recommend a visit.   ◄Dave►

If you are not a regular reader of Mark Steyn, you are missing one of the funniest serious commentators around.  His best seller, America Alone, has been aptly described as a whole new genre of “Apocalyptic Stand Up.”  A sobering explanation of why the West is inescapably doomed to be overtaken by Islam this century by the simple demographics of breeding, it is nevertheless often laugh-out-loud funny.

For a classic example of his style, his latest piece in National Review, entitled “With a Wink and a Smile,” is a must read:

That’s where Sarah Palin scored in the vice-presidential showdown. A lot of the grandees in the post-debate analysis reviewed the lyrics and missed the music. Whereas, I would wager, a big chunk of uncommitted voters out in TV land listened to Governor Palin, and liked the tune they were hearing. If you’re one of those coastal feminists who despise Alaska’s sweetheart as a chillbilly breeder whose knowledge of foreign policy is as full of holes as the last moose to make the mistake of strolling past her deck, Thursday night’s folksy performance isn’t going to change your view. But, if your contempt for her wasn’t already chiseled in granite, she came over as genuine, confident …and different. Change you can believe in, to coin a phrase.

or:

The problem was that it all sounded drearily senatorial. Mention any global crisis — civil war in Bosnia, genocide in Darfur, Russian aggression in Georgia, the lack of five-star restaurants in Wales — and Biden has been there, usually within the last two weeks, and always at public expense. What the American taxpayer gets for the Emir of Delaware’s frequent-flyer miles is harder to discern.  Biden was doing his best to turn in a decent karaoke version of Lloyd Bentsen, but, unfortunately, Governor Palin declined to play Dan Quayle. That left Joe sounding like an ancient pol being generically vice-presidential. Sarah, at her best, sounded like the citizen-politician this country’s Founders intended. She hasn’t voted 397 times against this or that in the U.S. Senate, because she’s been running a state, and a town, and a commercial fishing operation. She’s a doer, not a talker, which is why so many of my fellow professional talkers disdain her.

Do your disposition a favor and read the whole thing. ◄Dave►

I saw this years ago, so it may in fact be a true story. In any case, it earned another chuckle when it just popped into my in-box:

I figured those of you strong scientific/math minds would appreciate the logic of this answer.

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so “profound” that the professor shared it with colleagues.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed)or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, ” it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct…leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting “Oh my God.”

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY “A”

I wonder if this could explain the Expanding Earth Hypothesis? ◄Dave►